Bring in the sacrificial lambs

On Friday a parade of interesting characters came in to interview with Fatty.
These folks are in the running to replace me here at the OOD.
Fatty proclaimed with much pride that 35 applications had come in. And these three people were the best of the best.
So when the first interview of the day came in I was expecting greatness. But when Milton rolled in 10 minutes late for his interview....I knew he was doomed.
He came in a little disheveled and sweaty. AND HIS ZIPPER WAS DOWN!!!!!
Horrors or horrors. It's your worst interview nightmare. You are late and your zipper is down.
AND on top of that Milton was really fat. I mean huge. He made Fatty look skinny.
Poor Milton. Lo and I felt a little sorry for him.
Fatty simply showed him into the office and let him talk.
Apparently Milton smelled. Fatty said so . AND he sprayed some sort of air freshener when Milton finally left.
I think it was not a good interview.

Then came No. 2. We will call her Velma. She arrived 20 minutes EARLY for her interview. She was a nice, young college student with a trendy tie-neck top, pencil skirt and cute pointy-toed flats. I liked her. She was nice, seemed smart and was early (maybe Milton could learn a thing or two).
Fatty eventually came in from his long lunch/nap.
Ten minutes into the interview Velma dropped the bomb. She is not graduating from college until December! Fatty needs someone NOW.
"What a waste of time," he grouched later.

It was at this point Fatty attempted to give me a completment.
"What are we going to do without you, Violet," he said.
I didn't know what to say.


Potential Violet replacement No. 3 came in at 5 p.m. Being that it was my last Friday I ditched the OOD the second in hit 5 p.m. on the dot so I didn't hang around long. But No. 3 was a nice little 'ol Golden Girl type. White hair and nice personality.
But I think I actually saw her eyes roll when she came in the front door.
"Is this a JOKE,' I imagined her saying to herself.

"Yep, He's right this way," I said.