Awesome, I say. I casually ask when will Fatty be returning and he replies, "Oh, we'll be gone for about a week." "A week?" I ask. "Yeah, we get back on the 27th," he tells me.
Cue tears.
What in the hell is wrong with me? I've absolutely lost my mind.
I say, as I sniffle, "Oh, then you'll miss my last day."
....which you know kinda sucks. Even though I hate working at the OOD I have given eight years of my life there and these people are you know, well, they are people I'm close to. I just wasn't expecting to have to say good bye yet. And the emotion just flared up inside me and well, I got all teary about saying good bye to the Fatster.
Of course, he came over and gave me a totally fucking half-assed hug and said some crap about "being happy" and "good luck" or some junk like that and then he was off doing other things like working on his day off. What a weak ass hug.

Eight years I've listened and worked next to your fat ass and all you could do was give me a side hug. You know the kind of hug where you aren't really facing someone but hug from the side. I call total bullshit on that hug, Fatty. Besides, you would have walked your happy fat ass out of the OOD without so much as even thinking that you would miss my last day at work had I not asked. All you'll care about is how you missed an opportunity to stuff you fat face with good bye cake for my going away party. You a-hole.
I hope you have a great vacation, Fatty. Maybe if you are lucky your cheap ass wife will buy you some plastic snow globe as a memento of your annual Fatty Family Vacation.
Fatty gave me a crappy hug on my last day of work too. He must be hug impaired. I had to initiate the stupid thing. It was the oh-so-awkward sitting/standing hug. I was standing up (on my way out the door) and he was sitting at his desk. I came by to say good bye and he just sat there....didn't even get off his fat ass. So i had to lean over and try to hug him.
ReplyDeleteHe'a a weirdo.