Ten Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say At Work 

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a hoot.
3. How about "never?" Is "never" good for you?
4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahhh, I see the mess-up fairy has visited us again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of co-workers.
8. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
9. Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
10. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Clocking in

Hi, I'm Violet. I sit exactly 5 feet in front of Lola at our Office of Doom. We met about a year ago when I was hired here.

We didn't talk a lot at first. I think she was feeling me out. I think she actually thought I enjoyed working at the OOD. But the first time I rolled my eyes at my boss and mouthed the words, "I hate this place" to her, I was in.

We've been buds ever since. We often go on long lunches together to trade complaints about our coworkers, bosses and working conditions. Our stories got so great We thought we should blog about it. So here we are.

By Lola:

Yep. It's true what she says. I wasn't exactly keen on her at first. Violet was pretty quiet and kept to herself so I took that for "bitch" but she's totally not. She's awesome. And god forbid she ever leave the OOD, I'll die. Just die.

I suppose I shouldn't hold back anybody's dreams of leaving this place. That wouldn't be very supportive of me now would it? So, I shall continue support any said future efforts to bail on me - I mean get a better job - while secretly praying it doesn't happen. At least not till I'm the fuck out here first.