Let them eat cake.

You know you're screwed when your boss let's you know you aren't worth the $2
breakfast taco he just paid for as your going away parting gift.

Yes, today was breakfast taco morning at the OOD. In honor of Violet and Ivana's exodus the Doomer's were treated to breakfast. Even Churchy showed up before his usual noon arrival time to partake in some goodbye taco eating. Ivana came too which surprised us a bit. I thought she would have said "thanks, but no thanks" on this afterthought of a party. She's lucky that Violet just so happens to be fleeing the nest or i think she would have been SOL.

So we are all lounging around the grimy table. Splenda is acting like Golem from LOTR freaking about where her precious table cloth has gone to. Apparently Loca had the nerve to take it home after the last monumental celebration to wash the thing and forgot to bring it back. This infuriates Splenda. She's been after Loca for days to bring it back to the OOD. It seems we can't have a birthday or goodbye party without that stupid tablecloth and the flimsy good luck/happy birthday banner (that's seen better days) displayed for effect. It's just silly. Lucky for Loca she shows up with seconds to spare or Splenda would have exploded. Glory be - for in trots the tablecloth - good as new. We gather round the table for what appears to be breakfast tacos and some sort of german chocolate cake with real flowers that may or may not be poisonous if eaten. Orders were taken days ago and so everyone has a taco with their name on it so to speak. I sit back disgusted. For various reasons, I just can't stomach a greasy taco this morning so I leave my single taco on the table. Fatty and his grubby hands pick up tacos one by one in search for the taco with the most calories I can only assume. Someone hands him one that he isn't looking for but he takes nonetheless and I see him hide it for later. He comes back to the table and finds the object of his desire and nukes it in the micro. Everyone munches away as a speech is given by Fatty about how sorely both V & Ivana will be missed. I roll my eyes at some of his cliches and silently pray that I'm not too far behind them. Ivana looks utterly relieved to have made the decision she made and seems not the least bit regretful about leaving. Fatty complains about the lack of good prospects at replacing the irreplaceable V. PAB goes on about how expensive the tacos were - $15 he declares and grumbles on about that being too much money. Seriously? Must we fret over $15. Lord knows that is the first $15 you've spent on the office in who knows how long. And it isn't even his money. No doubt he'll expense it. Of course, only a few moments pass before Fatty has reached for his 3rd taco. He contemplates having another but worries about having too many. "You can have mine," I say. He doesn't blink twice as he grins and grabs my singular taco.

"Don't forget the cake," says Loca. She pushes it on Ivana like a drug dealer pushing his wares. Clearly she's gone anorexic on us seeing she's lost like 30 pounds in the course of a few months. That or she's doing meth. Not sure which. But she really wants to see Ivana eat that cake. How can you even think of cake so early in the morning after you've just stuffed your face with high fa looting breakfast tacos? Well, when good things like this come only at birthday and departures, the Doomer's take what they can..cake it is then.

Let them eat it.