Money, money, money

Ok, so I'm still here and have eight work days left at the OOD before heading to green (hopefully less doomier) pastures.
So while I'm still a Doomer (once a Doomer always a Doomer) I still have lots of material to share with you.

This week the OOD staff was given an award. Yes, I know, you're thinking if you work with so many incompetent people how in the world do you win an award. Answer: I don't know. It boggles even my mind.
So, anyways, we won this award and along with it everyone on staff split some award money. So each of us got $82.30!!! Woowee, right.
I mean filling up your gas tank these days can cost that much alone, but many people around the OOD were ecstatic about the little lump sum.
Fatty in particular was gleeful. He tore in to that envelope, peered in and grinned.
"OOOOO, wow," he squealed.
You see he's been talking about the award money for quite some time now. He knew it was coming and began thinking about what he would spend it on.
"I need some new shoes," he said one day as he plotted out loud.

So in an effort to help him out I though of some possible suggestions. So here it is the Top 5 things Fatty should spend his $82.30 prize money on.

5. Go on a mad shopping spree at the Good Will thrift store (Fatty's store of choice). I'm sure he could buy like, 100 used plaid shirts with that kind of cash.
4. Buy his wife a present, so she can ask how much it cost then return it.
3. Take all of the Doomers out for a drink. This could be interesting. But if I know Fatty he'll just buy a six pack of Bud and drink at home alone instead.
2. Get out of town. Fatty prides himself on never leaving town. He thinks it's cool. I think it's stupid. I mean, does this man have a life at all?
1. Quit. Take early retirement.

If you have any other suggestions please feel free to share.