I reject your rejection! Fun with Rejection Letters.

I've seen my fair share of rejection letters lately. The most fun rejection letters come from places that never even invited you to interview. How is one rejected when one did not actually interview? Confusing, no?

The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer, just send them the following:

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment at this time.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [Name of the Company]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately.

I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

(Originally posted here)

I'm going to need to see some ID.

Looking for a job is a pain in the ass. Being asked to authorize a background and credit check before you've even been brought in for your first interview is a bit much, don't you think? Perhaps this would be acceptable if you were being considered or actually being offered the job but checking your background and credit history before you have even taken a single step inside the potential Office of Doom's doors just doesn't seem right to me. Not that I have anything to hide - ok, maybe a bill that went unpaid or something (for good reason, I am sure) - but it all feels like an invasion of privacy. I'm supposed to turn over my social security number to a company/individual that I've never even met? 

Shouldn't we, the potential employee, be able to make the same request? Too bad their isn't an 'Asshole Check' or an 'I'm a Horrible Boss' check for us job seekers. I'm sure I would have run for the hills at least once had that been an option. 

I did a Google search on this topic to see if this has become the norm. It appears since 9/11 background and credit checks by employers in general have risen. I guess we should send a Thank You card to the Department of Homeland Security. 

In addition to the background/credit check, this potential employer has stated that they "will be contacting people with a complete application and resume on file to come in for a 5-10 minute first interview in the next few weeks" followed by a 2nd interview that "will consist of a short math test and a simple essay to get to know you better". 

Why so many hoops? It's not like the pay is even that great. It's an office job for crying out loud.

What do you think?

My summer vacation.

With school back in session and plenty of time on my hands, I thought I would join in on that old tried and true first day back-to-school writing assignment, What I Did on My Summer Vacation.


What I Did on My Summer Vacation by Lola Newstead.

I wish I could say I spent my summer sipping margaritas on the beach in Mexico or backpacking through Europe but alas, my summer was not filled with sunny beaches and drunken nights - maybe the drunken nights but I spent them nowhere near the beach or Europe. Instead, I've mostly been at home watching the Olympics and discovering Gossip Girl. My summer has been filled with many ups and downs. Ok, mostly downs but I'm trying to remain hopeful.

The beginning of my summer was spent leaving my job at the OOD to go work for the crazy Not Boss at the HOOD (Home Office of Doom). I gave the Not Boss a good two and a half solid months of working my butt off and putting up with her nonsense before the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back well, was emailed to me in true Not Boss "I've completely lost my mind" fashion. After some deliberation, I took the train from Crazytown where the Not Boss is Mayor and quit. I'll be lucky if I even get paid all the money I'm due - so far, I haven't been.

Since quitting the HOOD, I've spent several lazy weeks enjoying being unemployed - seeing family, friends and basically rubbing it your face that I slept 'til 10am because I didn't go to sleep until 1 after staying up all night reading the Twilight books (the last one is lame btw)....anywho, my bank account is dwindling rapidly and I really want to go shopping but I can't even drive within a mile of the mall without breaking into a cold sweat. So. I've been looking for a JOB. Looking for a job is not only boring but humiliating as well. I've spent hours on craigslist and I'm beginning to hate craig and his list. There are more bullshit job postings that you would believe possible. Tons of scams, links to recruiters and other crap. I realize that I'm either going to be way overqualified and make min. wage or I'm not qualified enough so why bother submitting a resume. Why don't I know PowerPoint, QuickBooks, PhotoShop, InDesign? How about SalesForce? Nope. And the crazy part is that they want you to know all this stuff but the pay is peanuts! There is no value to being a skilled employee anymore. I don't get it. I went to college yet I'm not qualified to do anything!

So how will Lola's summer finish out? I'm not sure. Oh yeah, in the first paragraph I said I would "remain hopeful" so I should probably get back to that part. Hmmm...I got nothing so give me an F.